In Crisis: A Millisecond that can Change Everything
By Joel Small, DDS, and Edwin McDonald, DDS
There is an old saying that our success is determined by the “three A’s”; ability, availability, and affability. There is no question that ability and availability are key components for success of any clinical healthcare practice. Affability is a curious quality, however.
In recent years, the “softer skills” of affability have been well researched and have now risen in stature among the critical three A’s. Daniel Goldman refers to these softer skills as “emotional intelligence” in his seminal book of the same name. Becoming emotionally intelligent is a process through which we become acutely aware of our responses and how we show up in any given situation. It is defined as the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Critical to this acquired skill is our degree of self-awareness and the ability to self-regulate.
Emotional intelligence has become so highly regarded as a leadership competency that there are now widely used assessments to gauge one’s level of emotional intelligence. The EQ2 assessment is one of these assessments which is widely used by executive coaching professionals. It is often used in conjunction with other leadership profiles like the Leadership Circle Profile 360 (LCP 360). In combination, these two assessments are commonly used in developing personalized leadership development plans for many of corporate America’s best leaders.
Viktor Frankl in his groundbreaking book, “Man’s Search for Meaning” offers this poignant thought:
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Leadership coaches understand that within this space, a brief yet critical millisecond, lies our leadership effectiveness as well. A millisecond that could change everything.
Each of us face pivotal moments in our personal and professional lives where a given response in a critical situation could have a profound and enduring future impact with significant consequences, particularly during this time of national crisis. It is becoming extremely apparent that we cannot just manage our way out of this crisis. A healthy dose of effective leadership is required if we are to emerge as a better and stronger organization after the crisis mitigates. There will be no such thing as business as usual following the COVID-19 crisis. Leaders must create and communicate a vision of a new and different future that awaits us. Along with this disruption and change comes anxiety and periods of confusion. We must approach all our organizational stakeholders with calmness and reassurance in the midst of chaos, even when we do not have all the answers. Never has the millisecond of choice been more critical. Never has there been a time in our history the requires leadership more than the present. Guiding our team through this crisis requires thoughtfulness.
Unfortunately, we often choose the wrong response because we unconsciously default to spontaneous knee-jerk reactions rather than making a thoughtful appropriate choice. These thoughtless knee-jerk responses are blind spots that occur at an unconscious level. Many believe that these spontaneous reactions are caused by deeply engrained responses that have become habitual and originate from beliefs and assumptions that we have brought forth from past experiences. Because we are unaware of these blind spots, making a conscious choice to respond differently is difficult.
So how do we go from auto-pilot to making a thoughtful response in these critical milliseconds? Self-awareness is the answer. Understanding the critical nature of our responses and acknowledging that we have an habitual blind spot when choosing an appropriate response is the key. Only then can we short circuit the reactive knee-jerk response in favor of an emotionally intelligent response.
Carl Jung, the noted psychologist is quoted as saying:
“Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our lives and we will call it fate.”
Bringing the unconscious to a conscious level is a critical step in substituting a mindful constructive response for a mindless reactive one. Having this conscious awareness of our habitual default response is also vital to our ability to self-regulate: a mental process through which we control our emotions in favor of making the appropriate response in any situation. Self-regulation allows us to stop, if even for the briefest moment, and even when emotions run high, to consider our best possible response. There would seem to be some truth that our fate, good or bad, is determined by our choice between responding purposefully or defaulting to an inappropriate spontaneous reaction.
Emotional intelligence requires an ongoing awareness of how we are impacting those around us. Carefully choosing our responses and the words we use are part of becoming emotionally intelligent. Words are powerful and responses have consequences. Choose them wisely.
We must address their fears and create a vision around which they can rally and find hope in a brighter future. This, in our opinion, is job #1.
Emotional intelligence is dictated by the responses we choose, and can make the difference between success and failure, a committed or compliant staff, or a transformational versus a transactional organizational culture. In our personal lives, the responses we choose may determine the quality of interpersonal relationships or even our family dynamics.
Drs. Joel Small and Edwin (Mac) McDonald have a total of over 75 years of dental practice experience. Both doctors are trained and certified Executive Leadership Coaches.